


Higher

by Whiskey_With_Patron



Series: Vent/Comfort Fics [1]
Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: Funny Man is a good friend, Intrusive Thoughts, don't mind me just projecting my problems onto danny, get this man some therapy, someone help danny murillo, touch starved, yes i'm touch starved what about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26753152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiskey_With_Patron/pseuds/Whiskey_With_Patron
Summary: Danny likes to climb things. He also likes to drink.But there are some days when he does neither, and that confuses Funny Man. Funny wants to figure out what's wrong with Danny, but he didn't think Danny would start avoiding him.(only rated T because of a brief description of violent intrusive thoughts)
Series: Vent/Comfort Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948468
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	Higher

**Author's Note:**

> don't mind me, just writing a quick vent fic instead of working on Lost City like i should be
> 
> i wrote this entire thing in one day with minimal editing, so it might suck, but this is a vent fic so i don't really care tbh. i just needed to project my intrusive thoughts onto something, and that something ended up being Danny! (he's always the one that ends up suffering in my fics, sorry Danny)
> 
> this takes place in the Undead Origins universe, just because i think this fanbase needs more fics about that comic, but even if you haven't read Undead Origins you can probably understand the general universe this is in. the only things you really need to note is that King Don owns a bar that the guys frequent and Charlie has a pet parrot that I've named Jack.

Danny likes to climb things. 

It doesn’t really matter what it is. Tables, chairs, counters, trees, street signs, lamp posts—if it’s climbable, he’ll climb it. It’s something the others have gotten used to by now. 

When they first met Danny, they didn’t know what to make of this habit. Johnny nearly had a heart attack when he saw that Danny had come to visit and climbed on top of his fridge. He was chilling there, scrolling through his phone like sitting on kitchen appliances was a totally normal thing. Charlie had been talking to himself one day in his apartment and thought the voice he heard from on top of his cabinets had been from his parrot, Jack. He screamed when he saw that Danny was lounging up there like a cat. 

J-Dog adjusted to this habit the easiest. He has cats that like to jump on things anyway, so one more creature climbing all over his stuff isn’t a big deal to him. He often jokes that Danny only climbs on things because he wants to feel tall, being the shortest one out of their group. Danny goes along with the jokes. He seems to think they’re funny. 

Funny Man is still getting used to the climbing thing, partially because he’s one of the things Danny likes to climb. 

Funny always asks why, and Danny’s answer is always the same: “You’re the tallest.” Funny protests that Johnny is just as tall, if not taller, and a lot more suited to carrying Danny’s weight than Funny, but Danny doesn’t listen. He clings to Funny’s back or clambers up onto Funny’s shoulders and stays there for a few minutes. J-Dog says it’s exactly like having a cat, just human sized and much less furry. 

Funny could just shake him off, of course, but the first time he did that, Danny ended up on the floor, and his eyes just looked so hurt and betrayed that Funny just had to apologize. He let Danny climb onto his back again and didn’t shove him off. 

Another thing that Danny does a lot is drink. 

This isn’t a big deal, really. Each one of them has their poison. Funny smokes unreal amounts of weed, Johnny does coke on whatever flat surface he has access to, Charlie chugs whiskey like there’s no tomorrow, and J-Dog probably smokes catnip or something in his spare time. They all get fucked up in their own ways. 

It isn’t unusual for Danny to stumble into King Don’s bar already wasted. He goes through beer like it’s nothing. Sometimes Funny will think that Danny hasn’t drank anything today, and then suddenly the guy’s got a half empty bottle in his hand. Funny doesn’t even know where he gets the beer bottles. They seem to appear out of nowhere. It’s very rare to see Danny without a drink. 

Danny climbs. And Danny drinks. 

But sometimes there are days. And Funny doesn’t know what to think about those days. 

See, sometimes there are days where Danny doesn’t drink. And Funny doesn’t notice most of the time. He’s usually too high to realize that something is different. He never sees a cause for concern. 

But one day is one of those days. Funny hasn’t lit a blunt yet, despite the fact that Johnny’s already got a nosebleed and whiskey bottles are piling up around Charlie. He’s put off the weed for the morning because he’s trying to build things on Don’s pool table. It’s not going well even though he’s sober. 

And as the morning goes on, Funny gradually notices that Danny’s still on the ground. 

It was a slow realization. It started with a small thought of “Has Danny broken open a case of beer yet?” and then a notice of “Danny isn’t drinking yet, that’s strange,” and then a “King Don just gave Danny a shot of whiskey and he hasn’t even sipped it yet.”

Funny puts down all of his stuff and stares at Danny. He’s just sitting at the bar, and that’s when it hits him. Danny’s sitting _normally_. He’s not on top of the counter or lying on a table or skittering up Don’s alcohol shelves. And he hasn’t even approached Funny _once_ to try and climb onto his back. 

Nothing seems off about Danny’s behavior other than that. He’s smiling as much as usual, talking about the usual things, acting like his usual self. Only two things are different. 

He’s not drinking. And he’s not climbing. 

Funny dismisses this the first time he notices it. Danny doesn’t have to drink all the time. Hell, Funny doesn’t smoke all the time. Maybe Danny’s just taking a break from alcohol. And it must get tiring to be climbing everywhere. Who says he’s not allowed to sit like a normal person every once in a while?

The next day, Danny’s drinking and climbing like usual. There’s no cause for concern in Funny’s opinion. 

But he does notice when those days happen, the ones where Danny isn’t climbing and Danny isn’t drinking. He’s stopped smoking first thing in the morning just to stay sober enough to know what Danny’s doing. If Danny’s sitting on the counter downing a bottle of beer, Funny will light up a joint. If Danny hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol and is sitting on a bar stool like everybody else, Funny stays sober for a while to see if anything is off about Danny. 

And he finds that on those sober days, Danny disappears. 

He doesn’t know when or how. All he knows is Danny was talking to J-Dog one minute, and the next, Funny saw that his seat was empty. Funny asks J-Dog where Danny went, but J-Dog just shrugs and lights a blunt. Half an hour passes and Danny walks into the bar and sits down like he never even left. 

Funny doesn’t know why those days happen. Maybe Danny’s feeling sick or something. Funny doesn’t know. 

On those days, Funny chooses to pay a little more attention to Danny. He asks how Danny’s doing, offers him a joint, ruffles Danny’s hair or pats his shoulder when he passes by. He doesn’t know if it helps Danny feel better or not. 

One thing he does notice is that Danny starts avoiding him. 

Funny notices it on one of the normal days. Danny is lounging on top of King Don’s cabinets with a pile of empty beer bottles around him, and he hasn’t approached Funny even once. Funny finds this strange, but he’s sure it’s nothing until the next day, when Danny is standing on a table and he doesn’t hop down to clamber onto Funny’s back. 

It’s the most noticeable on those sober days. Funny goes to ruffle Danny’s hair and Danny shies away. Funny pats Danny’s back and Danny jumps as if he’s been electrocuted. Funny asks Danny how he’s been and only receives a silent shrug in response. 

And on every one of those sober days, Danny disappears for a while without telling anyone where he’s going. 

The frustration is killing Funny Man. 

There’s obviously something wrong with Danny, and the others are always too fucked up to notice. Funny doesn’t know why Danny’s avoiding him, or why he leaves the bar sometimes, or why he stops drinking and climbing on things. It’s a total mystery. Nothing is off about his behaviour other than those things, so it makes sense that the others haven’t noticed, but Funny wishes they have so he can feel like he’s not imagining things. He wants to know what’s up with Danny. 

Funny asks Johnny about it one day. 

“Do you think something seems off about Danny?” he asks, flicking his lighter on and off. 

Johnny raises his head from the counter where a line of coke is waiting for him. “Hm? Uh, no, not really. Why?”

Funny sighs. “I just feel like he’s avoiding me.”

Johnny shrugs. “It’s probably nothing.”

Funny looks away as Johnny snorts a line of coke. He flicks his lighter again. 

He asks Charlie and J-Dog if they’ve noticed anything about Danny. They say they haven’t. Neither of them seem to care. 

Funny wants to know where Danny goes when he disappears. He keeps an eye on Danny on one of the sober days, waiting for him to stand up and leave. J-Dog eventually offers Funny a drink. Funny declines, and when he looks up again, Danny is gone. 

So he waits for the next sober day. He pays attention to Danny to see if he’ll leave. He sees Danny stand, but before he can follow, Charlie shouts at Funny from across the bar, asking him to roll a joint for him. Funny can’t decline because then Charlie will complain. Funny quickly rolls him a joint and then leaves the bar. Danny is nowhere in sight. 

He waits for the next sober day, then the next, then the next. He never knows where Danny goes or why he leaves. He wants to ask Danny, but it’s hard to even get close to him. Danny won’t stop avoiding him. It’s driving Funny nuts. 

Another day, he‘s not smoking since Danny’s not drinking. He sits at a table near the door and he brings one of his sketchbooks to draw in so the others won’t bother him. They don’t bug him when he’s busy sketching and he uses that to his advantage today. No one will distract him, and he can wait until Danny leaves. 

Funny starts sketching, glancing up at Danny every once in a while. He doesn’t know exactly what he’s drawing at first. It’s only when the drawing takes shape of a person sitting on a barstool with a glass of whiskey in front of them that he realizes he’s drawing Danny. 

Funny sighs when he realizes this. This says a lot about what’s on his mind right now. 

He looks up again. Danny is gone. 

Funny flips his sketchbook shut. He hurries to the door and steps outside. There’s no trace of Danny. He huffs in frustration and goes back inside. No use following Danny outside if he can’t even find him. 

Funny’s been sketching a lot more lately. He takes his sketchbook to the bar almost every day, whether Danny’s sober or not. He draws everything and everyone. Charlie lets his parrot pose for Funny some days, and Funny ends up with a lot of sketches of feathers and wings and beaks. Sometimes he’ll draw Johnny with a nosebleed or J-Dog with a joint or Charlie with a whiskey bottle. But a lot of the drawings are of Danny. Danny sitting on tables, lying on cabinets, chugging bottles of beer, sitting on a barstool. Funny’s worried about Danny. That seems to show in his art. 

Finally, on one sober day, Funny figures it out. 

He’s drawing at one of the tables, Jack perched on its surface with his wings spread so Funny can draw the placement of every feather just right. Danny is sitting on a barstool. An untouched bottle of beer sits in front of him. Funny has mostly been sketching for the past few sober days, unsure of exactly what he should do about Danny. He wants to make sure Danny’s okay, but Danny won’t even come near him anymore. 

Danny stands from his seat and heads for the door. Funny figures following him would be pointless, but after a couple minutes of sketching Charlie’s parrot, Funny can’t stand just sitting there. He has to know. 

He stands and flips his sketchbook shut. Jack squawks at the movement, but the others don’t seem to notice. Funny tucks his sketchbook under his arm and makes a beeline for the door. 

Once, outside, he looks around the street for Danny. Funny can’t spot his blond head of hair anywhere in the crowd along with sidewalk. He almost wants to turn around and go back inside. 

Usually, when they can’t find Danny, they look up at the lamp posts and street signs to see if he’s climbed up onto something. Danny doesn’t climb on sober days, but Funny still turns his gaze upward, hoping to see Danny’s tattooed hands hanging onto a lamp post. 

Instead, he sees something much more alarming. 

On top of a building across the street sits the silhouette of a person. It’s too far away to make out many details, but Funny would recognize Danny anywhere. 

He dashes across the street, almost getting run over in the process. He hopes against hope that Danny isn’t doing what Funny thinks he’s doing. 

Funny hurries into the building. He doesn’t even care about whether this place is an office or a hotel or what. He makes for the nearest elevator and hits the button for the top floor. 

As soon as he’s out of the elevator, he starts looking around for a door that might lead to the roof. He practically sprints down a hallway when he sees a door that has a picture of a set of stairs on it. He shoves it open and runs up the stairs to the roof. 

Sure enough, the person sitting at the edge of the roof is Danny. Funny rushes over to him. 

“Danny!” he calls. 

Danny glances back. His shoulders tense as soon as he sees Funny. “What are you doing here?” he asks. 

“What are _you_ doing here?” Funny fires back. “Get away from the edge. Let’s go back down.”

Danny sighs. “Funny, I’m not going to jump. Just go back to the bar. I’ll be down in a minute.”

Funny is relieved to hear that Danny’s not planning on jumping, but his concern is quickly replaced with curiosity. “Why are you up here? Is this where you go when you disappear?”

Danny doesn’t answer, but he tenses up more. Funny walks up next to him and sits down. His legs dangle off the edge of the building. It’s nerve wracking, but he stays put. 

“Why do you come here?” Funny asks, clutching his sketchbook to his chest. 

Danny leans back in his seat. “I like to think here. You can see more of the city.”

Funny grins. “You come up here to feel tall?”

That earns a small laugh from Danny. “Yeah, I guess.”

Funny kicks his legs. “Danny?”

“Yeah?”

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

Danny’s smile melts. He clenches his jaw and looks down at the busy street below. “You’re not going to leave me alone until you get an answer to that?”

“Nope.”

Danny takes a deep breath. “Do you know why I drink so much?”

Funny hadn’t been expecting to be faced with that question. “Um, I don’t know. You like the buzz?”

“I don’t like to think,” Danny answers. “I hate thinking because my thoughts hate me. When I’m drunk I can do whatever I want and I don’t have to worry about shit. When I do anything while I’m not drunk, my thoughts go haywire.”

“What do you think about when you’re sober?”

“Shit that I don’t want to think about,” Danny mumbles. “Things I don’t want to do. Things I don’t want you guys to do.”

Funny tilts his head. “Like what?”

Danny opens his mouth and closes it as if he doesn’t know what to say. “Like... violent things,” he says finally. “Harmful things. Really, really bad things that I would never do even though I think about them a lot.” He pulls his legs up to his chest and hugs them. “I get really bad intrusive thoughts when I’m sober.”

“But there are days when you don’t drink,” Funny points out. “Why?”

“Because I don’t wanna get addicted. Johnny’s already borderline addicted to coke. I don’t want to end up like him.” Danny rests his chin on his knees. “I don’t get intrusive thoughts all the time when I’m sober anyway. It just happens more when I am.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question of why you’re avoiding me.”

Danny pauses. “You just let me... climb all over you when I’m happy, even when you’re busy. You started being nicer to me. My intrusive thoughts kind of ran with that. They started being about you, about shit that I really, really don’t want to do to you.” Danny cringes. “I hate it. Distancing myself helps.”

Funny tugs on one of his braids as that sinks in. “What are your intrusive thoughts about?”

Danny’s eyes glaze over as he stares at the street, like he’s staring at something Funny can’t see. His expression morphs into a grimace and he curls further into himself. “You don’t want to know,” he whines. He sounds almost like a little kid. “They’re bad enough when they’re in my head.”

Funny nods. He won’t pry if Danny doesn’t want to tell him, even though he’s pretty sure problems get a bit better when people talk about them. Danny will talk when he’s ready. 

Danny clenches his fist. “Do you... really want to know some of the things I think about?”

“If you want to tell me, sure.”

Danny swallows and takes a deep breath. “Well... I think a lot about death. Mostly me dying. Sometimes you guys dying.” He hugs his legs tighter. “Sometimes it’s you guys killing me or each other. Or me killing you. Or one of us killing an animal. Just yesterday I had a thought about Johnny repeatedly slamming a door on Jack’s head. I couldn’t sleep much last night because of it.”

A pang of sympathy hits Funny Man. He doesn’t understand what that’s like, but it must be hard to deal with thoughts like that. Funny reaches out and sets a hand on Danny’s shoulder. He half expects Danny to flinch away, but instead, Danny leans into his hand and sighs like a touch-starved animal.

“Sounds scary to deal with,” Funny says. 

Danny glances at Funny. “Don’t you think it’s weird?”

Funny shrugs. “Concerning? A little. But you can’t always help the stuff that pops into your head.” 

Speaking of which, another question pops into Funny’s brain, one that he’s asked before but one that Danny hasn’t fully answered. “Why do you climb on me instead of Johnny?” Funny asks. 

Danny shrugs. “First time I climbed on Johnny, he thought he was being attacked and flipped me to the sidewalk. Nearly broke my arm. I don’t think he likes being touched.”

“Fair enough,” Funny says. He takes his hand off Danny’s shoulder. He’s surprised when Danny whines in protest. 

Funny raises an eyebrow. Danny shrinks back like he only just realized he even made a noise. 

Funny debates with himself for a moment, then reaches up to ruffle Danny’s hair. Danny visibly relaxes at the touch and practically nuzzles into his hand. Perhaps Funny’s earlier comparison to a touch-starved animal wasn’t too inaccurate. 

“When was the last time you had a hug?” he asks. 

Danny furrows his brow. “Maybe two or three...”

“Days?”

Danny pauses. “Years.”

Funny’s jaw nearly drops. “Hasn’t J-Dog ever hugged you?” Danny and J-Dog are close enough to be brothers. It’s a shock to Funny that they don’t even hug. 

“Not for a while. It’s part of why I cling to you. It’s human contact. I don’t get much of it.”

Funny is flabbergasted. Danny is the most affectionate person Funny knows, and he hasn’t hugged any of them in the past two or three years? Funny finds that nearly unbelievable. 

But, thinking about it now, it makes sense. Johnny doesn’t like hugs or affection in general. J-Dog usually spends all his time at home with his cats. Charlie and Funny are each other’s best bros, so they don’t often show much affection for any of the others. 

Funny scoots closer to Danny and wraps an arm around his shoulders. Danny tenses for a split second before he fully relaxes and leans against Dylan’s side. 

Funny sits on the roof with him for a while. He’s a little concerned about Danny. Maybe Danny needs therapy. He doesn’t sound like he’s doing okay. He’s worried about addiction, his intrusive thoughts bother him a lot, and he’s clearly touch starved. A therapy session might do him some good. 

But for now, all Danny needs is someone to keep him company. And Funny can do that for him. 

Danny still likes to climb. He swings from lamp posts as the others walk down the street and crawls on top of cabinets in the bar. He still likes to drink, too. Funny Man hardly ever sees him without a drink in his hand. 

But there are still those days when Danny doesn’t drink. He still doesn’t climb as much on those days when he’s sober, but he does climb one thing. 

J-Dog raises an eyebrow at Funny as the five of them walk down the sidewalk. “Aren’t you getting tired?” he asks. 

Funny shifts Danny’s position on his back so he can carry Danny better. “Nah, I’m good. Danny? You?”

Danny clings to Funny tighter. “Yeah. I’m okay.” His voice is quiet. His thoughts have been bugging him today. 

Johnny snorts. “You two have been pretty gay lately.”

“Yeah, Danny’s stealing my man!” Charlie jokes. 

“Mr. Steal Yo’ Man is just tired,” Funny says. “Ain’t that right, Danny?”

Danny hums in response. He speaks a lot less now when his thoughts are bothering him. Now that Funny knows about his problems, he said he doesn’t feel the need to cover up his feelings as much. He allows himself to show that he’s upset sometimes. Funny appreciates that Danny trusts him enough to show that. 

They keep walking down the street. Funny doesn’t let go of Danny the entire time. 

**Author's Note:**

> i kind of wanted to go more in detail with Danny's thoughts, but i felt the one example i provided was graphic enough. i just needed to get my own intrusive thoughts out there. the example with Johnny hurting Charlie's parrot came from a thought i had a while ago about my dad hurting my sister's pet rabbit, and it has bugged me so often that i ended up shoving that onto Danny and now he has to deal with my intrusive thoughts. sorry Danny :(
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated <3


End file.
